True Confessions and Crochet
Y’all know the flight attendant safety talk you get every time you board an aircraft? You hear about fastening your seatbelts and emergency exits and what to do in the event of a water landing.
The most important thing they say, however, is an analogy for everyday life: If the aircraft should experience sudden decompression remember to don your own oxygen mask before assisting those next to you.
Take care of yourself or you won’t be able to care for anyone else.
What. A. Concept.
If you’ve read my blog then you probably know I have Issues. I’m dealing with those issues and I am far more self aware than I was just a few years ago, but I still struggle with the whole self care thing.
The biggest lesson I learned as a child was my needs do not matter. That’s hard to unlearn, and it’s probably why I still have a hard time taking care of myself.
You ask, but how can that be? You visit California spas! You get mud baths! Yeah, well, I didn’t take those trips without first making sure Pookie got something he valued at least as much. He bought his first motorcycle, I got a trip to Napa. He traded for a better bike, I got yet another trip to Napa. The fact that occasional breaks from everyday life are good for the soul was secondary.
Not that Pookie needed the trade-off; he would’ve sent me off just because I wanted to go.
Still, do you understand what I mean? Even if it doesn’t hurt anyone else, if it’s benefit neutral for Pookie and the boys, if it meets my needs only, then it must be the wrong thing to do.
I’m writing this piece to help me understand certain things about myself, and I’m going to post it because I get a kick every time someone new visits my blog, but…
There’s always a “but.”
Sometimes my posts aren’t benefit neutral for readers. I know some of my extended family would rather I keep these thoughts to myself, or at least within the family.
No can do. I need to write to clarify my thoughts. I need to share my experience and not feel shame. I need to be accountable to myself. I need to finally understand that self care is not selfish.
And lawsy, do I ever need a mud bath.
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the life, times and ramblings of jaythenerdkid. probably not safe for children.
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