Nervous Knots

True Confessions and Crochet

Renovation Porn

Pookie and I watch a lot of home improvement shows. We call it “Renovation Porn.”

Think about it. To paraphrase a certain dictionary definition, these programs demonstrate renovation for the purpose of arousing interest in redesigning one’s habitat.

For example, consider the Crashers. They’re professional designers/contractors who happen to be very telegenic, with not an ungroomed hair or untoned ab to be seen. They’re beautiful people doing beautiful things in ordinary homes.

Who among us has not walked into the big box home improvement store hoping to find Matt Muenster or Alison Victoria? Wouldn’t you take them home with you? I could certainly use a free bathroom or backyard makeover; all the homeowner spends is two or three days of time and effort. Deal!

As long as I’m talking about beefcake, I really ought to mention those lovely Canadian twins. You know who I’m talking about: Jonathan and Drew Scott aka the Property Brothers. The point of their show is to convince prospective homebuyers that a turnkey dream house is out of reach, and a fixer-upper, perfectly rehabbed by Jonathan, is just the ticket.

Pookie is pretty handy. He’s added custom built-ins to our laundrabrary (I love a good, clear portmanteau). We had our kitchen and dining room retiled after Pookie knocked down the weird pony wall between them. He’s remodeled the kids’ bathroom and laid wood laminate flooring from the front door to the back door.

I paint sometimes, but mostly I shop for furniture and arrange pretty things on shelves.

Watching Renovation Porn, though, makes me want more, More, MORE! I want to knock down walls and replace the kitchen cabinets. I want to gut the master bath and start from scratch. I want things to be elegant and classy in a style that won’t need to be updated a year from now.

Simply put, I want my house to feel finished.

Then we can sell it and buy our RV. Gotcha!

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This entry was posted on June 29, 2015 by in Stories and tagged , , , , , , , .

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